Brokenness

This is ripped from Steve Howe our Church’s Youth Minister:
And it is well said:
http://www.xanga.com/Sandwich_Steve/

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Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted here (my bad) and I’ll be surprised if someone reads this. I don’t share this as a devotional, or to impress, or for any reason other than to remind you how awesome Christ is. It’s not here for you to “like” or “dislike,” it’s just here in hopes that God might see fit to use it. Either way, “thank You” God for what You’re doing. 🙂

“Brokenness.” I wonder what it is about this word that makes me so reluctant to hear it. I think it might have something to do with the way I was raised. When I was a little kid, I had this frappin’ awesome Thundercats action figure. It was Lion-o and he had one of those cool “chopping action” arms that would lay the smack down on any enemies in my room. One day I got a little too rough with Lion-o (we were seriously administrating on some evil Transformer dudes) and I broke the “chopping action” on my action figure. I ran downstairs and said, “Dad, what happened?! Can you fix it?” Like any good father he studied it intently for awhile, then with a sympathetic look in his face said, “I’m sorry son, he’s broke, I can’t fix him.” Maybe that’s where I started getting off on the wrong impression of the word “broke” or any variation of the word (I REALLY liked my Lion-o).

And here I am now, 26 years old, and even though I don’t play with action figures (at least none that I’m willing to admit to) I still get this…awkward feeling when people start talking about being “broken” or “brokenness.” It’s scary, like with my action figure…if I’m broken can God really fix me? No one wants to play with a “broken” toy, why would God Almighty ever want to spend time with a “broken” Steve? (I don’t even have a cool “chopping action”) Be assured, I love Him, and He’s my everything…God is right where He’s supposed to be. But me, that’s a different story sometimes. Besides, Youth Ministers shouldn’t need to be “broken” right? We should always be right next to God…no need for fixing. What if our students found out that we struggle, that we’re imperfect, that we sometimes hurt them accidentally, and sometimes they hurt us. Still reading?

Well, this is the way I felt…until last night. I was in a prayer meeting…and the strangest thing happened. God kinda showed up all of a sudden, and people stopped just long enough to realize that in the midst of them asking for prayer for everyone BUT them…they really needed prayer themselves. And then things got REALLY crazy. This man…a manly man…not the kind of man who cries, or shows weakness, the kind of stoic man you might see in a movie. The man who trudges on, unphased by all the junk in life, making it work. Well, this man, all of a sudden…he starts CRYING?! Was I really seeing this? Not this guy, I’ve never seen this before. Not only was he crying, he was weeping, like a little child. We all got up and layed hands on him and prayed for him, and he wept. He realized he was “broken” and there was nothing he could do to fix himself…he was tired of pretending.

Then I had to go back across the street to the youth meeting where one of my Seniors, Elijah, was leading the lesson that night…it was good, “Don’t be a hypocrite…be a child of light.” He invited me up to close out the evening, and I just couldn’t shake what I saw across the street. So we took some time to be “real” with God. And while I was on stage singing, it occured to me, being “broken” isn’t a bad thing after all. In fact, I think God likes broken, He likes weak. At least that’s what He says in 2 Cor. 12:9 “My gracious favor is all that you need, my power works best in your weakness.” God also says that we are “treasures in jars of clay.” That’s when it really hit me. When I’m “broken,” when Steve is lying in pieces on the floor before the Potter…that’s when the good stuff spills out everywhere (It’s a big, holy mess). God uses our brokenness to remind us that we’re not just some dingy, cracked old pot. We may think we’re not worthy of God’s love, or we’re scared to represent Christ to the people around us…so we hide. But it’s when we’re broken before Him, that we see we are filled with a treasure. What’s the treasure you ask? The knowledge of who you are created to be in Christ! You are a child of God, a Child of Light! You are loved beyond our pathetic human understanding of real love. He demonstrates His love by taking up residence in you…in me. The cracked, beat up jar known as Steve…the treasure of Christ comes and fills me up. Sweet! Are you tired? Do you just want a chance to be real? My advice, put away the super glue and duct tape that you’ve been using to patch the cracks in your “jar.” Instead, fall to pieces in the arms of Christ…be broken. Deuces, Steve <>< Posted 12/1/2005 at 11:34 PM - email it

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